I think the Hogwarts point system should be used with races of human beings. Example: Slavery? 10 points from White People!! #RaceCup
“Happy Birthday. I got you the same thing I got you last year.” / “Nothing?” / “Correct.”
#StepsToSurviveAHorrorMovie Be White…What? That’s not even racist, it’s just statistically accurate.
If I was running Occupy Wall Street there would be more than zero catapults present. How do you occupy anything without hurling rocks at it?
Couches at discount stores should be sold with practical slogans like, “future home of equal amounts Doritos, pennies and shame.”
There is no way I’m not gonna photo bomb my kids…and if they leave their Facebook open, everyone will immediately know they eat poop.
Throwback song of the day: One Eight Seven by Senses Fail. Let your ears recover from LMAFO and listen to some good music. They’ll thank you
Freihofer’s wheat bread kicks ass. #ThingsIWishKanyeTweeted
Guy in front of me in line is 102 years old. The cashier ladies reaction to that was “I will never live to 102”. The old man and I agreed.
samreich asked: Hey, man. I just wanted to say I really appreciate your thoughts on the Jake and Amir special.
Sometimes “I’m sorry” doesn’t make everything okay, especially when it comes to felonies. therealmoki: macdaddyc: dafuckgeo: ch4nel: WHAT THE FUCK DID SHE DO OMG OMG HERE’S THE VIDEO LOL my jaw just hit the ground omfg BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
Anonymous asked: How many followers do you have Ryanbrady? Don't lie ryanbrady.